Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
