I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
