You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
