okay pat passed out under dana's car
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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