And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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