cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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