That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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