well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
