I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
