Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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