Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
