i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My feet surprised me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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