so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
