so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
