So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
