it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
