i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize