I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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