Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
