sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
