i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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