just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
