woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
