WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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