Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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