he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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