$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
