awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize