dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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