I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
