Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize