Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
