ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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