Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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