Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
