Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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