Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize