There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
