I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize