everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
smell my finger.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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