She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it glows. i had to have it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
