There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
