and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
