"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
