I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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