I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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