Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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