Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
