I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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