im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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