FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
