I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
