peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
