im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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