She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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