Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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