i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is my gift to your gina
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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