I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
