Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i dont even know how to be here
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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