I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
