sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Text me some of your sweat
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