Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is it penis luge time yet?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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