We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
