So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need water and some morals
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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