Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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